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ONE YEAR TO LIVE-A vision gives me one year to live as of may 13th 2002: this Journal is how I deal with that! one year to live

one year to live
October 26th, A dream event shows me that I will live till late 2011 or early 2012, then I will leave with the rest of much of humanity, at the "END, this dream states"! [a collective massdeath event of some kind, probably!] ---yet another Extension, now living *way* beyond my [apparently] pre-birth setup Life Plan! Stay Tuned!

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Tuesday, August 10, 2004
 
6:39 PM
Lets see, it is the 10th of August already! I have not posted very much of late, due to a "mild" pneumonia! It began over a week ago, and off to the veteran's clinic to get "killer" antibiotics. No energy, no real urge to do much, of late.
finally, today, I begin to feel much better. But the blood count is still a bit high. Tomorrow I will go yet again 8again* to the Clinic and this time for a TB test. There is suspicion that I could even have turburculosis!
all this, of course, the visits that I make and *will* make, to the vet clinic eat up my computer time. Every 8 am, but is really 10 am before I can sit down anywheres.
moral: for the older person: life *becomes* "maintenance"!! "maintaining the body" soon takes all one's time and energy.

then there is yet *another* reason why I have not posted so much of late! What personal stuff, in my life, no one really REALLY wants to hear! Most readers are in their 20s...30s..or even earlier, and they are Not Ready To Face Mr Death yet!!

I am 63.

And...yes, most of my relatives lived till they were 70 or 84 or even 98. Why not ME?
because "They" tell me otherwise and I had durned well be ready or else!!
thus I "need" to "journal" this and I may indeed journal little else than of a man who has a year or two to live, as in....
[Doctor to patient] "I am SO sorry Mr Jones, your X-ray is before me and there is a Scardioitix malignancy in your brain; this is the fastest spreading cancer known and it is incurable. You have 9 to 15 months: get ready"!!

lets see...what is the Latest from my dreams...

another "angel" dream, that is new!
[I have now accepted that a group of "lady spirits" are "behind" most of these
"preparational to die" dreams, that I have had over the years. The series began when they told me, in 1998, that I would not die THEN as I had helped my mother so much during her life, that I would have a life-extension for "a little while".

In some dreams I see some of these ladies. They seem to belong to a "association"
of some kind, in heaven. They all look "early middle aged". They all wear
long white dresses [ROBES], and their hair is always white. Curly and white.
I have seen many many pictures of these type of ladies, over the years, in Christian writings and in descriptions of near death experiences, and also in "appearances" into the physical world.

ANGELS


so.what did they, about three weeks ago, tell me this time? It was just one lady speaking and I was *severely* abraded, much like of when I was in 8th grade
and my math fell far FAR short of what Mrs Vandusan, the 8th grade teacher, thought that I was capable of!
She told me that I was "behind" the curriculum curve, in my life's work.
this is what she said....

"Freestone: in your "shortness' of life, you are paying FAR too too much attention to Florida!! You are supposed to, instead, be Remembering and summarizing your life!"

I woke up. I know what this meant. "Florida" is the state that I live in...Tallahassee, FL,USA. It means *anything* that has to do with the outer world!
the weather outside. The palm trees. The new York times and every article in it.
*and*
anything that I think and ruminate ABOUT the above!! [I had, before the dream, often got a bit angry over "politics and issues"] even my inner life, if about the outer world, is NOT what is wanted here.

sigh.
much *much* more of the "hardest line" [Midnight oil] I must take.
I must spend much of my time ruminating about my life. Near as if I just sit in my room all day: it is what the "rocking chair elder person" is "supposed" to do, in his twilight of his years.

I have a friend with five kids and lots of life to live and a Gardejefian/Ouspensky
approach to life and he would perhaps "urge' me to change and to try new things and to get out of the old routines.
aHEM!
I must do 180 degrees from that: stay even MORE routine, fix habits even more, as I use my coffee cup meditations and my walks to ponder of my past! Not to pay attention to the present at all.
My friend may well tell me that my dreams are all my "imagination", that I have many years yet.
aHEM!

If all my angel dreams are "Real", that tombstone is a foot away from my face, on my path of life. gotta git reaaaady!

freestone


posted by freestone wilson at 6:39 PM

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